Friday, September 7, 2012

Valentines No.2

This week, as part of my writing, I am going to write about Fathers Day. As you will know that, my title is about Valentines. You might be asking, “Why does Fathers Day make me put Valentines as my title. Well the reason why I did Valentines as my title, was because for Fathers Day, my family and I went out for dinner and This is how it all played out.

Waking up, early in the morning, rushing to my dad saying “HAPPY FATHERS DAY DAD! He said back with a lost voice “Thank you son” So I said, “Tonight is the night dad. I said, “Ok”. So we waited until it was 7.00pm at night. “Yay” I said to myself, “It’s 7 now can we go now please mum”.Ok lets go now Mum said, Is everyone ready. Yes we all yelled back. And off we went to where all of our little friends were. I mean the food.

As we arrived, my tummy started to rumble. “Mmmm” I said to myself, I hope my BIG FRIENDS are inside.
So I walked up the ramp and opened the door. Off I went inside. There it was... Butter Chicken, Hot chips, Beef and rice. I walked over to where the plate and spoons were and got one of each. So then I walked over to where my big yummy friends were, I scooped and scooped out my favourites. Then I zig zagged across the room till I got to my table. “You my dear”, I said, “Are you ready to go into my mouth?”, “Well you are”. I said. Took my spoon and stuck it into my Beef and rice, then into my mouth. “YUMMYYYY”

My tummy was very fool and I was tired at the sametime. I wanted to go home, but we had one more thing to do, which was to go to the movies. “Lets go now!” My mum said. “Are we going home now?” I said. Now we are going to the movies. I said, “Can you drop me off to aunt's house please?”. No, we all have to go, so then I said “ok”.

After all of that, we finally got home. I jumped into bed and fell asleep. The next day I woke up, went into the lounge and sat down. Mum came out and said don’t you have school. I said “Yea, but I don’t wanna go,” “Well you have to get in the shower now.” I walked to the bath and hopped in and washed myself. I came out and put on my uniform. I grabbed my lunch and walked out the door. “Good bye mum” I said.

A big thanks to Ramona for proof reading my writing, making sure it makes sense. Thank you so so much.
This is my re-edited piece of writing, which was posted this week on Wednesday. There will be some changes in this new edited writing.

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